Wednesday, 20 April 2011

ViPR Bites.

I live in Liverpool. The year is 2011 and I am 27 year old woman. This at times can be quite hard. I am confronted daily by images of the thin, the slim, the beautiful and the fit, and that's not just at work!  Every magazine I pick up gives me 20 different diets or tells me about 20 different celebrities who are struggling with weight gain or why they are very pleased with their weight loss. I find this very tricky to keep up with, and I know I'm not the only one!  Look at Lilly Allen!  I TOO 'want to eat spaghetti Bolognese and not feel guilty for days and days'. 

If you choose and are lucky enough to work on television you know you have to have a tough skin. But having a tough skin doesn't mean that if you read a tweet, a message post or hear that someone has been commenting on your figure, you don’t wince - no one wants to be told they have 'wrestlers arms'. That’s what this new venture is all about. If I can feel happy within myself, well frankly…bollocks to those who want to be mean! 

On my new found quest to get fit and confidant I have been researching/googling/reading up on all different kind of fitness crazes. Zumba, Bootcamp, Yoga,  and as the nearest place I can learn to fly the trapeze is 2 hours away on the train (how flipping flaming cool would that be?!) I am looking at options closer to home!

So, if you read the entry from two weeks ago (scroll down please) you would know that a new fitness/dance/personal training studio has opened about 30 seconds away from my house and I thought it would be very rude not to check it out! 

After a consultation with the lovely Danielle we discuss what options might be best for me and my goals, and decide to try ViPR mixed with the PowerPlate for an 'effective all over body BLAST in just half an hour'. 

Now till a week ago I did not know what ViPR was and my knowledge of a PowerPlate was that it vibrates and is meant to give you an hour’s workout in half the time, which sounds excellent,and that Madonna has one.  With the ViPR I picture something that looks like a snake…the reality is a lot harder to handle.

The ViPR is a large tube which reminds me of a totem pole with hand holds in the middle. It is made of weighted rubber and on first glance doesn't look so scary. But having picked the thing up it is heavy - and it’s the lightest one apparently! 

We start off by doing a minute of something called 'thread the needle', a series of movements which cannot possibly be described in words so let’s just say, its bloody hard work. It involves a squat, a forward bend and the swinging and twisting of the totem pole through your legs. After 60 seconds I am a sweating, huffing, struggling to breath, mess. After 14 more minutes of bicep curls, twists, batting a swiss ball across the room and lunges with the rubber tube, the VIPR thingy is fast becoming a  boa constrictor and I'm glad to be moving on to the Powerplate.

Now this Powerplate is making me giggle, and as I spend the next 30 seconds in a wide leg squat I realise a few things:

1. If you keep your mouth closed it makes your teeth chatter.

2. It is really hard to focus on anything and it’s all a bit blurry.

3. Trying to stay still on something that vibrates is a contradiction in terms.

4. This is bloody difficult and my thighs are hurting canimovenowplease? 

The 30 minutes end just as I start to think I can't possible lift or bend anything else. However, I can't believe I can have done so much in such a small amount of time, I feel excited and am certain this is going to get results quickly.  I leave the studio with very wobbly legs. So wobbly in fact…I stumble into a lamp post as I stagger home. Oh well, what’s a few more bruises when you are having fun!


  1. This is ace! Its makes me smile! cant wait for the next one! :)

  2. I love the powerplate & truely believes it works, i have one at home so i can watch it in front of the tv :)


  3. I love your blogs. more more more, please

  4. Was debating myself to try a powerplate but have heard a lot of mixed feeling! What you write is very true, I'm going on holiday in 2 weeks and been worrying for the past 2 months how I'll look in a bikini!! The problem is we worry this much, yet we get there and couldn't give a **!! keep
    Up the good work x

  5. I do enjoy your blogs, they are so funny. You're a born writer and comedian. Keep up the great work.

  6. LOVE the blog! I too am on a get fit/get trim mission due to my forthcoming wedding. Your blog is such a good read. I am now inspired to try the Powerplate!

  7. Yeah there is too much pressure to look a certain way sadly. I fell off a powerplate once and nearly killed myself. Not for the poorly balanced is that. x

  8. My mum tells me that eating Kiwifruit is one of the best ways to keep fit. And I think she's right. If you don't like eating kiwifruit,
    Gold kiwifruit is another good choice. Gold kiwifruit is sweeter than kiwifruit and it's my favourite!!! Maybe you should try, in stead of doing those exercise that makes your body sore.

  9. You should try ballet next. It is brilliant exercise!

  10. This its such an interesting post. My friyrns and I have written a play that briefly touches on this issues its called The Woman.....Manchester 14+16th July. Check it out

    P.s love the powerplate!