I was beyond excitement when I discovered that a hot yoga studio was opening in Liverpool and even more excited when I discovered their website. Yay, hooray for the internet, no need to pick up that phone. I have a strange fear of ringing people and have to psych myself up before I actually pick up the phone, even when its someone I want to talk to – even more psyching needed when its not, like the bank!
Anyway I downloaded the timetable and sorted out a time to go, then the real worry started - what do I wear? A quick search online suggests tiny shorts and a crop top. Well that just isn't going to happen is it?! But after a lot of VIPR, PowerPlate and even pole dancing, I think my legs have changed shape enough to possibly be put in little shorts, with the help of fake tan obviously, and topped off with a vest top. I have my own yoga mat from time spent at the yoga studio with the nipple fixated instructor, so just need to grab a towel from the airing cupboard and I'm good to go!
I discover that I really don't know Liverpool that well despite living here for over six years. I end up driving around for an hour longer than expected because I decide I know better than the sat nav. I have become very distrustful of my sat nav since it sent me down a bridle path. I realise I should have followed my instincts and not blindly followed instructions especially when said instructions are delivered in the dulcet, seductive tones of its voice, never trust a silky voiced sat nav! I was driving a car that regularly got mistaken for an escaped dinky toy being steered by an invisible remote control; in the pouring rain; in the dark; on my own. I started to really dislike my sat nav about 45 minutes later when to get traction under the back wheels I had to take a running jump onto the boot of the car, shoot forward 10 feet and then to do it all over again. I actually really hated my sat nav when I finally oozed out of the bridle path, shaking, cold and covered in mud, and it tried to send me down another bloody one! I think we had a full blown barny after that one!
Finally arriving at the yoga studio, the difference between hot yoga and bikram yoga was explained. The difference being that in bikram the classes are always 90 minutes long, you aren't allowed water and they lock you in! Hot yoga is the girly version! Listening to your body, drinking lots of water and being able to leave if it all gets too much! Sounds good to me! The class starts with slow breathing as I try to acclimatise to the heat which is quite difficult as its like a bloody sauna in there!
As soon as I begin to move into a slow and controlled sun salutation I start to sweat. I sweat a lot. Its actually pouring off me and as I try to hang onto my leg during one pose, my hands just cant get a grip and slide off because of the sweat. I now realise the point of the towel is to stop you sliding of the mats - your feet won't stick to the mat for moisture! But the heat, the breathing and the stretching has the most wonderful effect and I feel like I could take on the world (or maybe I've just gone really dizzy) and somehow seeing your muscles glistening with sweat makes them look more defined! I could get used to this!
Soon we move onto floor work and I start to understand why we are told to take things easy. I suddenly feel a churning in my stomach and everything begins to spin. The instructor (in calm monotone tones, much like the sat nave now I think of it) tells me to look into my eyes in the mirror this will help with the sick feeling. The person looking back looks insane. Wide eyes, red faced, panting, my hair sticking out at weird angles and fake tan and sweat pouring down my cheeks. S.E.X.Y.
The class ends and I have gotten through it! The doors open and fresh air floods the room and I drag myself, my half rolled yoga mat and a now fake tan soaked and stained towel to the 'chill out' area. There’s ice cold towels waiting and even orange wedges waiting! At that moment the most refreshing combination known to man! All the sickness and dizziness float away and I'm left feeling fresh, alive and like everyone else in the class - completely addicted.